There was a time that our preschooler pitches a fit. Sometimes, when he’s on tantrum he’ll hit me when I try to console him . To make him understand that hitting his mom (or anyone) is not good, his dad gave him a swat on his little bottom. He did get the message. For us, spanking is not bad, it is a form of teaching. But we don’t do the spanking out of anger and frustration. Spanking given with fairness, love and care is an effective discipline technique. He has to learn that certain behavior will get him a spanking. If you burn your hand on something hot, you learn that hot things can hurt, this is the same thing.
When we decided to give Hyzyd a spank, this is what we do:
- We try to talk to him first and explain to him that what he’s doing is wrong (whatever it may be). And if after a couple of times, if he don’t listen then he get one or two swats.
- Have him lay across our lap with his bottom up. We deliver each swat (we used a specific belt …we don’t use our hand because our hand is for loving touch) only on his clothed bottom and only hard enough that he feel mild discomfort.
- Sit him up at eye level, repeat the explanation, and have him agree that he will not repeat the behavior again. Ask him to apologize.
- Assure him that we’re not happy giving him a spank but he needed it to remind himself not to do it again.
- Tell him that we love him.
On that particular night, we learned a lesson:
- preschooler also need some space
- some moment to be silent
- not to nag your hubby as well as your kid
Actually it’s hubby who kept on repeating questions on Hyzyd on why he was spanked, not to do it again and other persistent reminders and continuous urging to do this and that…then suddenly Hyzyd got up, took the ear muffs and put them on while his dad is talking so at that moment I ask hubby to stop and give our little boy some space:
The scenario is quite amusing to me but if he’s a grade schooler already and do this, I think it can’t be tolerated. Right?
After a minute or two of silence, he’s alright already because he hugged us and say “Sorry”.
If you are not comfortable with spanking , then choose whatever form of discipline that works for your child. Sometimes, talking and explaining is enough and other times it warrants a time out, a smack, grounding, privileges taken away, but it really does depend on you and your child. Whatever you chose to do, be very consistent.
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